Basically, I’m in what I think I’m discovering is a weird program in many ways, with strengths and weaknesses in its weirdnesses.
I am a very highly trained classical musician— for privacy’s sake let’s say violin. Have won awards, decent buzz about my playing, etc. Soloist type. Would love more booked gigs but it is what it is.
Masters from a tip top conservatory. Decided to get my doctorate, got a very good fully funded one (rare in music performance), but weirdly, we were all mixed in with the musicology/theory students and basically went through the same academic rigor as they did. It was tough on me but I am pretty much through, I’m ABD (also unusual— many performance doctorates don’t require a dissertation of any kind.) My initial research has gotten good feedback from my panel, professors, and institutes interested in this type of work (I have someone looking to support a Fulbright for me next year, have been a Fulbright finalist in the past so hoping it’s a possibility, though I know how competitive it is.)
The problem is, I’m looking at my job prospects, competitors, etc. and I feel beyond behind and like I’ve been wasting tons of time in many ways? I have done TONS of performing, but also was a lecturer at a junior college in my system, in two separate subjects, and I enjoyed that a lot. But I’ve never done research under another professor (that wasn’t even an option in my program), I’ve never published outside of music criticism/reviews (not academic journals), and my dissertation is my first real major “work” outside of some undergrad thesis work.
This sounds stupid, but publishing wasn’t even a concern or something I discussed with my advisor— it was always perform, get ready for this recital, do this competition. And in that regard, I’ve kept myself extremely busy. But I’m incredibly worried now that all that performance experience is not going to get me any kind of academic appointment when I graduate. Sure, private lessons are a possibility, but I was hoping for an actual potential faculty appointment, not an unending adjunct job, which most private instructors seem to fall into.
Can anyone offer advice? Can I turn this around? I only have one year left (provided I finish my dissertation.) I feel like I screwed up so royally. I’ve seen classmates submitting to conferences and stuff but they were all in musicology so I felt less compelled to do so.
Submitted August 01, 2018 at 05:40AM by Academicgoat8
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